There are some days that I forget we have Diabetes. Where it's so routine and normal feeling that it's like brushing your teeth, or combing your hair. Something you do with out much thought. Then there are days that are full of tears and stress. Where numbers are crazy, emotions run high, and you hate this disease so very much as it runs your life.
I'm not having either of those kinds of days. Even though our numbers have been up and low...and low. I just feel kind of feel resentful at diabetes and at how very few people really understand what it's like living with it. How they binge on cupcakes and fruit with out a care. They're lack of co pays and nights of sleep. How unfair it is. And yet I'm also marvelling at how much diabetes has changed me as a person. In real life I am shy, I have anxiety, I hate crowds. I am a person that worries and is in fear of everything, even the unexplained and uncontrollable. I’m a scaredy-cat that’s afraid to talk to people least they dislike me, or I look a fool. Or at least I was. I'm less of that person now. Those things that used to worry and scare me so much - now seem so trivial with the reality of this cruel and unpredictable disease. I guess I should be thankful that diabetes put it all into perspective.