Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Thanks for the D

There are some days that I forget we have Diabetes. Where it's so routine and normal feeling that it's like brushing your teeth, or combing your hair. Something you do with out much thought. Then there are days that are full of tears and stress. Where numbers are crazy, emotions run high, and you hate this disease so very much as it runs your life.

I'm not having either of those kinds of days. Even though our numbers have been up and low...and low. I just feel kind of feel resentful at diabetes and at how very few people really understand what it's like living with it. How they binge on cupcakes and fruit with out a care. They're lack of co pays and nights of sleep. How unfair it is. And yet I'm also marvelling at how much diabetes has changed me as a person. In real life I am shy, I have anxiety, I hate crowds. I am a person that worries and is in fear of everything, even the unexplained and uncontrollable. I’m a scaredy-cat that’s afraid to talk to people least they dislike me, or I look a fool. Or at least I was. I'm less of that person now. Those things that used to worry and scare me so much - now seem so trivial with the reality of this cruel and unpredictable disease. I guess I should be thankful that diabetes put it all into perspective.


  1. where are you in my mind?! Really this sounds like where I am at. Thanks for sharing such an intimate view that is very honest. Just know you're never alone in any of those extreme and in-between feelings.

  2. and just realized you MUST be living in the beautiful Pacific NW, if you ever want to get together let me know. I am in Tacoma.

  3. We should try to get together! We could meet up in Seattle at the zoo or science center as a mid point. Work has me crazy busy finishing a project but it should free up soon.

  4. JEALOUS IN THE girls. There are "pockets" of you on-line gals all over except the NE!!!

    Anyway, this post is amazing. D has had a profound effect on me and my personality as well. I was never shy...I do tend to make a fool of myself...I am very outspoken. So, I guess what I was missing was a "passion" - and unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it...Joe, getting D...has given me a passion that I will advocate for...change my career for etc...etc...

    I think it too, has made me and my family much more empathetic...and TOUGH.

    Love to YOU.

  5. Hi!

    I just found your blog and feel like I could have written every word. My 9-year-old was diagnosed in early March and I'm so exhausted. It's just one of those helps to know I'm not alone...